Katie, Asha, Sage and Zaya

2010-06-25T22:55:00.000-07:00

California, here I come. Once you party with LA's.... Seriously, ready to conquer the makeup world. OK, not really. Just some rambling thoughts from my disillusioned mind.

Hey You

2010-01-06T20:54:00.000-08:00

Hello blogging world! Where have you been? Or more realistic, where have I been? So happy to be done with school and transforming back into an attentive, caring mother (at least more than I have been). I even had a couple of bitter-sweet mom moments today. The first when I dropped Sage off at Kindergarten. As she jumped out of the car she turned to wave and give me one of her sweet little smiles, then turned and hurried away to join her classmates at the playground. While this may not seem monumental, I could not believe how confident and self assured she seemed. As a toddler she never left my side. When did she decide she was OK to go her own way? How long until she doesn't need me at all? I must admit the tears started to swell but not none fell...yet...not until later that night as I lay next to Zaya trying to get her to sleep. She rolled over and put her little cherub hand on my cheek and said, "I love you my mom". That right there is all I ever need, the love of a child.

2009-09-13T19:02:00.000-07:00

I known, I know....I'm really bad about blogging. The problem is I'm in school all of the time and I don't have internet access at my house yet. On the bright side, I think I should have that up and running within a week. I finally had to have my brother call and set it up cause after 4 months I realized I probably wasn't going to do it my self. Hopefully I will be posting something soon.

2009-05-02T22:08:00.000-07:00

Here is a post dedicated to Stacey, my roommate, my pseudo-sister, my babysitter, my housekeeper, my little Lois and if Ryan were here Pacedog. She is all grown up and married. I knew Stacey in High School. Well, I shouldn't say knew because I never really got to know her but I don't think I really liked her (my own fault....passing judgement...judging a book by it's cover...who knows). Who would have guessed that she would end up being my sister-in-law and one of my BFF's and truly one of the most caring people I know. She pretends that I was helping her out by letting her live with me but I think we both know she moved in with me because she was worried about me being alone and wanted to be here for me and the girls. I love this girl. I truly feel like a big sister to her so Brett better watch out or I will take him down (he knows I can). Stacey, I'm happy for you and I will miss all our crying sessions and seeing you all the time and just sitting and having someone to talk to. I love it when you ask me, "what is your week like" it makes me feel like I am still accountable to someone and if I went missing someone might notice. Thanks for everything. You're the best and I have never gotten sick of you.

A DAY ON THE SLOPES WITH AUNT STACEY...

2009-04-27T20:35:00.000-07:00

Here is some footage of the girls snowboarding that Stacey took this winter. They are naturals, they take after their father on this one. Maybe just because they are not afraid of anything. This was Sage's first time. Asha has been a couple of times.

2009-04-26T20:54:00.000-07:00

O.K., I know, I'm really lame and I haven't blogged forever. It is my goal to get things together and post something. I have been oh so busy but blogging is a great way to keep in touch and since I'm moving to St. George in 13 days, I need to jump bag on the band wagon. Expect something soon!

Change...

2008-12-21T22:17:00.000-08:00

I have been getting the itch for some change around the house. I have been wallpapering and decorating and changing furniture around. Well this weekend I decided I was sick of the striped wall in the girls room, and I wanted to paint it to match the other green walls in their room. Good thing I have such a good memory and knew exactly what the name of the paint I used was. I went and picked me up a gallon and started painting. It looked a little lighter than I remembered but I just figured, "oh well, it must dry darker". After the second coat however, I realized my memory must not be as good as I remembered, cause it was definitely the wrong paint by about 2 shades. I then went out in the garage and rummaged around through all the paint we have accumulated. When finally I found the right green. So, I started the process all over again. This time it only took me one coat to realize I had screwed up again and painted the wall the wrong color for the second time. This time too dark (it was the color I used for the dark green stripe in their room). The bad thing was I didn't tape the sides cause I figured it would all blend. It is awful and I may have to hire a painter to paint the whole room if I can't figure out which paint I used. lesson learned on many levels.

Another change has come from this little monster. Zaya is obsessed with Baby Einsteins. She freaks out in the car unless it is on. The sisters movies do not cut it. I have tried getting her to watch Dora or Finding Nemo and nothing but anger from the little one. She loves the Baby Einsteins. Well, the other day I bought Mama Mia and was watching it while I folded laundry. Much to my surprise she was enthralled with it. She has become obsessed. Now every time we get in the car she points to the TV and says Mama. She will sit through the entire thing with a grin on her face or bust out in dance. The girl has rad moves. She even says money, money, money. It really is bizarre and funny but a nice change none the less.

Now here is a good and bad change...Asha was diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis (bad thing, right). I only say it is a good thing because she has had a swollen ankle for 6 months now and test after test and needles and surgery and finally we have answers. Her doctor at Primary Children's says a lot of kids outgrow it and they will be able to treat it and maybe soon she will have a normal sized ankle. That would be a welcome change but if not I know Asha will handle it. It takes a lot to get this girl down. She is so happy-go-lucky.

Sorry this picture is not rotated!

Now what do you think of this Change. Our new looks:

This is what crazy moms do when they are left alone with a drawer full of Mac makeup and nothing better to do on a Friday night!

And did I mention I am really into painting toenails right now.

A VISIT FROM MY FAMILY...

2008-12-14T21:14:00.000-08:00

My family has been in town all weekend for baby Ryan's blessing. It was great to have them here. I love having the company, so do my kids. The funniest conversation took place between my brother JP and Sage that cracked me up. They were looking at pictures on JP's cell phone.

Sage: Look there is me (laughing) I'm so skinny. Look J there is one of you.
JP: Am I so skinny too?
Sage: No
JP: What am I then?
Sage: Hairy

She is so funny. Everyday she makes me laugh.

The first and last tag I will probably ever do...

2008-12-08T22:32:00.000-08:00

So I never do Tag's because they require a little bit too much effort and thinking then my brain allows but, my Friend tagged me to write 6 random things about myself. Plus I can't find my camera so I have nothing to post.

1. I often don't wear matching socks. If I wear socks it is usually with boots and no one can see them anyway so I just grab the first 2 I come across. Fine until you go into someones house that makes you take your shoes off.

2. Speaking of socks if I find a random sock laying around the house I throw it away. I know it is wasteful but finding the mate seems like a lot of work.

3. I was supposed to be a gymnast but I forgot to take lessons.

4. I like to rub my feet together when I'm falling asleep.

5. I have never eaten seafood of any kind. Not even a tuna fish sandwich. Seafood seems like little alien creatures. You might as well offer me some sort of bug.

6. Throw up almost always makes me throw up (or at least dry heave). I'm only mentioning this because my daughter just threw up in between random thing number 5 and 6, and I had to go clean it up. I threw away her comforter. Wasteful, right? It was only $30 from IKEA and had a hole in it anyway. Now it is covered in throw up in the dumpster. I hate throw up.

Now I tag Jenny, Aunt Mary and Krysta.

Coldplay, Me and Emily...

2008-11-23T21:18:00.000-08:00

So I have to write a little bit about the Coldplay concert. Mostly to brag, but also because my Christmas tree picture is quite lame and I hate it being at the top of my page. So, Coldplay is awesome. I always wondered what Gwenyth saw in her goofy husband but after seeing him sing, I understand. He oozed with sex appeal, that sexy devil. What is it about seeing someone live in concert. I always leave concerts in love with the lead singer. I really should quit going or I'm going to end up a groupie. I also love Coldplay's lyrics. They are so thought provoking and I swear they are mostly related to death, or maybe that is just my take on it. The highlight for me was them singing "The Scientist." This is a special song to me. Every time I hear it I feel like Ryan is speaking to me. It is on my playlist for those of you who have not heard it. Now the following part is for my friend Heidi who reads this blog and says she can't understand how I don't complain about my sad life more:

I really miss my husband. I miss his big strong arms that made me feel protected and taken care of. I miss building my life with him by my side. I miss feeling like everyone wondered how I got such a handsome man to marry me. I feel like I'm walking around half a person most of the time. I feel like my life is heading somewhere I don't want to go to a place I don't want to be. He is always in my mind and in my heart. My heart and soul irrevocably belong to him and nothing, no amount of time, will ever change that. I hope that was enough whining. If I keep it up people won't come up to me and tell me how strong I am. Actually from now on the next time you see me just say, "sucks to be you." That might be refreshing.

Emily is probably rolling her eyes right now. I don't have control of my emotional outbursts just the way you can't control your heart of stone. I'm kidding, you know I love you (closet cryer). Thanks for coming to Coldplay with me.

An early Christmas season...

2008-11-20T12:19:00.000-08:00

I have absolutely nothing to blog about. My life is fairly boring. So here is a picture of my Christmas tree. I put it up after Halloween......I know, I know. I love Thanksgiving but there is no Thanksgiving tree. Besides Ryan would never put up my tree till late in the season so I'm defying him for dieing. This tree is about 4 years in the making. One more year and I might have enough ornaments to be completely satisfied.

Halloween Fun...

2008-10-22T20:14:00.000-07:00

Here is some of the fun to be had at Halloween time. I hope none of the polygamist reading this take offense, it is all in good fun, and doing my bangs this way brought back oh so many memories.

Me and my sister-wife, Becca.

My Bunco group. We have been playing for 5 1/2 years and I have only missed once, after Ryan died. That is either dedication or really pathetic, you pick. Either way we have fun. Look at these hot ladies!

...and this is why you never give your baby chocolate in the car.

A little food for thought from my crazy mind...

2008-10-16T19:39:00.000-07:00

This is not my Grandma!!!

Here is a little thought that popped into my head as I was getting ready for bed the other night: Don't you think it's crazy how common breast implants and anti-depressants are? I would say a good majority of the people I know are in possession of one or both. Don't get me wrong, I'm in favor of anti-depressants and implants if they help you feel better. I think they have helped a lot of people. I myself wouldn't mind having both these things at the same time (someday I just might). My questions is, what did our grandmothers do when they looked in the mirror and saw their saggy boobs and felt really depressed about it and couldn't fix either problem? What then?

Girls trip...or at least the girls on the trip...

2008-10-11T21:16:00.000-07:00

Me and my girlfriends had a fun overnighter to Park City this weekend. If you want to know about all the silly things that we did you might have to check out their blogs because I want to dedicate this post to those ladies who make my life fun and enjoyable. The ladies who make me feel like a young silly girl with the world at my fingertips. Each of my friends are so different and yet we mesh together so well. We all bring our own unique flavor and spice that when brought together makes something wonderful. This is for you.....some of the things that I love best about you. These are in alphabetical order so you don't think I placed you in a ranking.

Aimee: I love the laid back attitude that you bring to our group. You are a great listener. You have such a big heart. I can tell how much you genuinely care and are always trying to figure out ways you can help me or thoughtful things you can do for me. You always make me feel comfortable and included. I like that you are not super sensitive like the rest of us. You just roll with punches and are cheerful doing it.

Becca: You always seem so put together and sophisticated from the outside but I know what a goof you can be. You are so girly-girl and so tom-boy all at the same time. I love to talk to you and cry to you and bounce my crazy ideas and question off of you. I know I can always count on you. You always include me and invite me to do things with you. I love to beat you at Guitar Hero. I love to tease you and I like that you always laugh at my jokes even though they are usually not that funny.

Emily: I love that you can jump in with my friends and not feel awkward or shy. I don't ever feel like I have to entertain you or make sure you feel comfortable. You are fine in any situation and you fit in so well. I love it when you tell me all your funny stories and dilemmas. I love to talk to you, there is never a dull moment. It seems like we have been friends for a long time. I feel so lucky to have someone who knows what my life is truly like. My burden feels lighter to know that I'm not alone in my trials, although I wish so badly that you didn't have to know this pain. I really feel like it was divine intervention that we are friends.

Heather: I love your sense of humor. You always make me laugh. Your expressions and your tone of voice and the off the wall things you come up with are all classic. Your mind is as twisted as my own. I love that you are shorter than me and younger than me. I feel like I could take you under my wing and have you be my apprentice. What i would be teaching you is uncertain.

Krysta: You have been my friend since the dawn of time. I feel like you know me on many different levels. The amazing part is that you still like me. I love how considerate you are, constantly asking if you can watch my kids. I love it when you are loud and I love it when you are quite and thoughtful. You make me laugh. I know you would do anything for me and I know that you always will, until the time when we are old ladies without pucker strings.

You guys give me so much strength and something to look forward to. I can't wait until Park City 2009.

Thanks Stacey for watching my girls. You are the best!!!

Watch out for this blog stalker...

2008-10-06T14:31:00.000-07:00

Sage is the funniest kid. She is constantly asking if she can look at people's blogs. It is nice because it keeps her entertained for quite a while and she is getting pretty good at navigating it by herself. Then she tells me about everybody's pictures, or if she sees something really interesting she says, "mom you got to come see this." She has been asking me for a real computer for her birthday or Christmas for the last year but I don't know, I think 4 might be a little too young.

Zaya's Birthday party...

2008-10-06T14:20:00.002-07:00

I know my last few posts have been about Zaya but I can't help it. I love this little girl more than anything. I was watching general conference and I really enjoyed Elder Holland's talk about angels. I guess this is a subject that is near and dear to my heart. He talked about mortal angels who are so good and pure sent to us in our time of need. Zaya is my angel. There is no doubt in my mind that she was sent to me when I needed her most. The little bit of heaven that she brings has been the best antidote for my sorrow. I wish I could just freeze time and let her be my little baby forever. I hope this is her last birthday party ever (not really though).

Weekend in Las Vegas...

2008-09-30T16:35:00.000-07:00

Here we are looking a little hammered at 1:00 a.m.

This weekend was a rare treat! I got to ditch the kids and go party with the Warner ladies in Las Vegas. They had an extra ticket to go see Donny and Marie. That is right, the one and only Donny Osmond. We partied like it was 1975 (at least me and Brea did j/k girls)! The highlight of the concert was when he touched my hand, it was sweaty and sensual. I don't know, but I might have to add him into the official top 10 of hot old guys (for all of you reading this I'm not really into hot old guys, don't get the wrong idea- I don't want to be set up with your single grandfather).

We also got to go and see Cirque Du Soleil O. That is the water one. We actually wanted to go and see Thunder Down Under but it was sold out (that is a joke, for those of you who don't know me). It was awesome! A little trippy but awesome. I definitely want to go and see the other ones.

So here is a thanks to the Aults/Warners for including me in your trip and thanks to my sis and bro for dealing with the babes.

Zaya's birthday invitations...

2008-09-24T19:43:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my friend Katie with Peekaboo Photos, who made these adorable invitations for Zaya's birthday. She is amazingly talented. I love every picture she takes. I can't believe Zaya is already turning 1. I love this little girl more than words can describe.

Walking mastered.....well, almost...

2008-09-17T12:20:00.000-07:00

Zaya has just mastered walking (well almost). She is so proud of herself. This is one of my most favorite things about being a mother....seeing all their 1st's. I can't tell you how much I adore this little girl. She couldn't be more perfect if I had custom ordered her. She brings me so much joy. I know she was needed to come to me at the time she did. She is my little gift from Ryan and Heavenly Father.

Cemetery Conversations...

2008-09-09T20:17:00.000-07:00

Today we stopped at the cemetery to visit Ryan's grave. Asha has been having problems with her ankle (long story) and had to go to the hospital to get some fluid taken out today. We were sitting at the cemetery and she said I'm going to say a prayer and ask Dad to help my foot feel better. So she started praying right then and there as soon as she was done she got up and said, "look Mom I can walk now." It made me laugh. I wish I had that much faith. Then Sage decided she wanted to write in the notebook we have at Ryan's headstone, so she starts writing all the letters she knows. She stopped, looked up at me and said, "um, Mom how do you spell dot com"? It surprised me. I guess she is telling her Dad about some great website. A few minutes later my niece, who was with us said, "Asha your Dad is going to live again when Jesus comes" I thought that was profound but then Asha replied, "Do you know when that is Addie? All the people need to get ready for him to come first. The bad guys need a chance to get ready." I was stunned for a minute. I don't know if she heard that from me or at church but it never ceases to amaze me some of the things that come out of those little mouths.

My night life...

2008-08-28T20:55:00.000-07:00

I really don't have anything that interesting to post. My life is pretty boring: run here, run there, clean a bit, and run again. My work load has definitely increased since I'm having to do a bit of the the things Ryan used to take care of. Sometimes at night though, I have a bit of free times on my hands, so this blogging thing has come in pretty handy. For some reason the amount of TV I watch since Ryan died has decreased by 90%. In fact I think the only TV I have watched in the last 5 months was every episode of, So You Think You Can Dance (I'm crazy for that show). I don't know if I'm to busy to watch TV or have other things I need to do or maybe it's the fact that 2 of our 3 TVs broke in the last month (Maybe an act of God to give me more time to read my scriptures or write in my journal). Recently my new thing is to watch TV series on DVD. I just watch 1 episode before I go to bed at night, it helps with the anxiety of being alone. Here are the the 2 I have been watching, so much better than waiting each week for a new episode:

The prayer of allegiance...

2008-08-21T21:29:00.001-07:00

So I think Sage must be learning the pledge of allegiance at preschool because the last few nights she has said her prayer, it was more a long the lines of prayer mingled with pride in her country. It went something like this:

Please bless that Jesus can come down with liberty and justice. Bless the Gospel and Holy Ghost in one nation, under God.

Kids are great! When she does this I try so hard not to, but it usually makes me laugh. I think she is just really smart and realizes that we mention God in the pledge and we pray to God at night, and that's the way it should be, right?

Asha starts 1st grade...

2008-08-19T22:13:00.000-07:00

Being a mom has got to be one of the most bitter-sweet roles in the world. I guess I'm the type that gets anxious for the next stage my kids will go through and then when they get there I get sad and realize they are growing up way too fast. Asha just started first grade, that means being away from home, and me, a good chunk of the day. I thought that would be great for the both of us, but as I walked her to class I wanted to stop time and make her stay my little girl. I know it's just the first grade, but to me it means her gaining independence. She is going to go it alone, make her own decisions and figure things out for herself. There is nobody there to baby her. Don't get me wrong, I want all those things for her but when I think 1/3 of her time with me, until she is an adult, is gone I just want to pick her up in my arms and have her be my baby again.

My thought on Breaking Dawn as related to life...

2008-08-16T20:29:00.000-07:00

So all you vampire lovers, I just finished THE book. It was pretty good. I must say though, I think I liked the other books better. While I was reading however, this particular paragraph caught my attention. I guess you could say this is how I feel sometimes regarding my current situation:

Was this the limit, then? I'd had more happiness than most people ever experienced. Was there some natural law that demanded equal shares of happiness and misery in the world? Was my joy overthrowing the balance? Was four months (8 years in my case) all I could have? -from Breaking Dawn, Stephanie Meyer

I like to tell myself that some people are married for 50 years and never get 8 years of being completely happy. I always felt that Ryan and I were so blessed, that things always turned out good for us. Not to say that our marriage was perfect or we didn't have our little hiccups, but I could almost feel Heavenly Father helping us and blessing me with those years of little trial to help sustain me through this big one. I look back and feel pretty lucky. Not that my life is completely miserable now, it's just different than before. But I do sometimes feel like things were to good and came to easy that it just wasn't fair to everybody else.

2008-08-16T19:59:00.000-07:00

The girls...

Asha...

Sage...

Zaya...

LET THEM EAT ROCKS

2008-08-13T21:08:00.000-07:00

I have always hated to cook. I guess I'm pretty lucky cause Zaya seems to really enjoy eating rocks, grass or dirt. Kids are funny aren't they. Right now she would put just about anything in her mouth and within a couple of years she will be complaining about eating something lovely.

My friend Nichole just took adorable pictures of the girls. I was nervous about getting a good shot of Zaya because she kept eating rocks or pulling her hat off but they turned out so good and the ones of her doing silly things were my favorite. I will be posting more of the pics once I can narrow down which ones are my favorites (if that is possible).

Asha my birthday girl

2008-08-04T21:43:00.000-07:00

I always tell Asha she is special. She asks me why and I always reply, "because you made me a mommy." It is true. She was my first little baby and now she is growing up and will be starting 1st grade soon. Asha is not only special because she was my first born, there are so many reason why she is special, here are just a few.

-Asha is the most creative little thing. She spends hours on end drawing pictures, crafting, and making books. She tells me she is going to be an author and illustrator when she grows up. she has an amazing attention to detail. I love to watch her create.
-Asha is just happy by nature. She wakes up each morning smiling and saying, "good morning mom." I am not a morning person but Asha is my ray of sunshine. She cheers me right up.
-Asha loves to play and have fun. It takes a lot to put her in a bad mood. She has such a love of life. Her attitude and outlook on life was definitely inherited from her Father. She reminds me of him so much. She is the life of the party, the practical joker, the one that everyone wants to be around.
-She loves her family and has such a big heart. The night of her birthday she came up to me and said, "mom from now on I'm going to do whatever you ask me to do and I'm going to start trying to eat the things I don't like if you ask me to" (she is a picky eater). She wants to help me, she says sweet things to me when I am sad. She loves her little sisters.
-Asha is beautiful. I know I'm prejudice but I look at her and wonder how I could have given half the DNA to such a beautiful girl.

Being her mother brings me so much joy. I can look into her face and see the baby that I loved and held tight and rocked to sleep and I can also see the beautiful young lady that she will become. I know she will go far just by being the person that she is. I love you my Asha.

The kids and toys put to bed

2008-07-28T23:39:00.000-07:00

So I know this is a really bad habit to form with Asha and Sage but since Ryan died they have just been sleeping in my bed. My bed just seems big and lonely. The upside is they have easily filled that void and are happy to do it. The downside is that every time I go to bed I have to remove the 25 stuffed animals and dolls from every nook and cranny. But hey, whatever gets them to go to bed at night.

Sage especially loves to cocoon herself with her toys. These pictures don't even really give it justice. Who on Earth sleeps with their legs crossed?

Timpanogos Cave

2008-07-28T20:55:00.000-07:00

Last week we my sister and I decided we were going to go and hike up to Timpanogos Cave. I haven't been up since I was about 15 years old but my mother-in-law works up there doing tours for the summer so I figured it was about time to go back. We thought it would be fun, somewhat educational and a good way to get exercise. It occurred to me that we both were going to have to carry our babies up but it didn't seem like that big of a deal. By the 3/4 mile mark however I was singing a different tune. Needless to say I'm good for another 10 years.

my cute mother-in-law, she is a trooper. Twice a week she hikes up to give tours. She told me after six weeks it still didn't seem any easier but she must be doing alright. If someone told me I was going to have to go back and hike it again the next day I would have quit.

Asha and Sage being complete posers. We live in such a beautiful area and being out in nature is such a testimony builder for me.

The girls at the "heart" of Timpanogos cave. I was just wiggin' out about earthquakes the whole time.

THE POLICE

2008-07-19T22:02:00.000-07:00

Me and my pops were just rockin' it at the POLICE concert. Actually, I don't know if what we were doing could be considered rockin'. I wasn't quite drunk enough to really rock out(someone should have spiked my sno cone). I don't know what is funner, to watch a concert or drunk people at a concert. But my oh my that Sting sure can sing and he looked pretty darn good doing it. He is officially in my top 10 of hot old guys. Anyway it was a fun birthday present so thanks Dad.

BYU Cheerleading Camp

2008-07-18T12:46:00.000-07:00

Asha has been doing cheerleading camp all week long with Cricket and Tilly. As you can tell from the video I'm not so sure she learned a whole lot but I think she had fun and it was worth getting a little break from 3 kids for 4 hours a day.

She looked cute doing it..............organized chaos!!

Sad but Funny. Both Cricket and Tilly were named mvp for their age groups. This video is Asha realizing she didn't get the award and mostly the T-shirt that went along with it. She's in the back if you listen closely you can hear her cry.

I just wanted to show you how big Zaya is getting!

My Birthday Message

2008-07-09T21:58:00.000-07:00

Here is a shout out to all my peeps, my home girls. Thanks for the party and all the attention I never knew I always wanted.

No seriously, thanks for the party. It was fun. That afternoon (of my birthday) I happen to peek out my window and notice the Ashby boy mowing my lawn. An overwhelming feeling of gratitude came over me. I'm always grateful for the love, friendship, and kind thoughts and deeds that my friends, family, and neighbors give to me, but this gratitude felt different. This was the gratitude I knew that Ryan had for everyone. It came over me so strong I started to cry. I know he must be so thankful that I don't have to worry about mowing lawns or having people to love me on my birthday and all the million other little things that Ryan did for me, that he can't do anymore. I feel a little guilty, I must admit, that some of that responsibility is passed on to you, but I am so grateful for it. I know I could not make my way through this without all of you holding my hand. So thank you, thank you, thank you.

A little bit of the summer in St. George......

2008-07-07T20:45:00.000-07:00

Here are a few things we did this last month.

On the way back home yesterday I ran out of gas between Payson and Spanish Fork. I know...I know. I really thought I could make it to Springville though. While I waited for someone to bring me some gas my bros let the kids get on top of the car so I took some pictures through the sunroof.

We went camping up at Pine Valley. Asha ended up getting impailed with a stick in the ankle, which led to a week long staff infection and her unable to walk for several days. I couldn't figure out how to work the camper and couldn't figure out what you are supposed to do with a baby camping. I just don't know if camping is in my blood.

Becca, Teressa and I ditched the kids to do a little shopping in Las Vegas the shopping wasn't as good as we hoped but it was still fun.

Colby and Becca tooks us rock climbing up Crawdad Canyon. Colby was very patient and helped all the girls have a turn (he more or less carried them up the climb).

Crazy Girl

2008-06-26T08:12:00.000-07:00

So we have been having a lot of fun in St. George. The girls love being around their cousins. My sister has been great. She really helps out with the kids. Although, I must admit she is a little more strict than I am which hasn't sat to well with Asha. The other day I came home from doing an errand and Jenny told me she felt like her and Asha needed to work on their relationship. Apparently Asha went outside and peed in a cup, mixed a little water in it and tried to get Jenny to drink it. What the what? I asked her why she would do such a thing. She said, "I just thought it would be funny." She has also peed on the swingset and air conditioner. Either this is some crazy phase she is going through or she is an awful lot like her dad.

I like to ride my bicycle

2008-06-14T20:18:00.000-07:00

Yeah!!!! Asha finally learned how to ride a two wheeler. It took her all of about 5 minutes, once the training wheels were off, which makes me think we probably should have done it sooner. Actually I'm going to have to blame that one on Ryan. I was quite clear that teaching a kid to ride a bike was definitely a man's job. Me chasing after a bike and catching it before it falls over doesn't sound so easy. Luckily she has a good uncles, so I got out of doing it.

Safety First!!!!

Erik Rudy

2008-06-12T20:27:00.000-07:00

I just found out today that Erik Rudy, another young father in our ward, passed away. I was really surprised how fast all of this transpired. I only found out a few days ago that his cancer had returned. Although I had only recently got to know Erik, after Ryan passed away, I really liked him and I could tell how much sympathy he had for me and the girls. Erik and Emily were signed up to bring me dinner after Ryan died. Erik called me up on the phone and said how about we just get Chilis to go and go eat it at the park. I must admit it was nice to do something different and get out of the house. I had a lot of fun letting the kids play at the park while I got to visit Erik and Emily and get to know them. I'm usually a pretty private person but for some reason I was able to open up a little bit in front of them and express some of my sorrows and worries. I felt very comfortable around both of them. Erik was also the one who came up with the idea of doing the "Run For Ryan." You could tell he, like Ryan, was a fellow do-gooder. After the woman from the newspaper came to interview us for the story about the race, we got to talking and were surprised by how much our families had in common. I think we both felt like our families could have been great friends. It breaks my heart for Emily that now we have this in common to. I'm happy that she at least got to say goodbye to him. That there was nothing left unsaid. My heart aches for that. I think about what I would want to say to Ryan if I could. I don't know about anyone else but it sure seems like the best people are called home early. Maybe there is work on the other side that only they could do. I truly feel like Ryan is on a mission. Maybe Erik is too. Maybe they will be mission companions and will develop that friendship they could have had on this Earth. Maybe there is much work to be done because the second coming is so soon. I know it may seem silly to some but that's the one thing that I hold on to. My little glimmer of hope, that Ryan is working hard so that we can be together very soon.

Lake Powell with the Warners

2008-06-09T12:34:00.000-07:00

I feel pretty lucky to have the friends I do, but I'm also lucky that my friends come from great families. They have all been so supportive and have all invited me to family functions. The Warners invited me to Lake Powell and I was already in St. George so I couldn't resist. It was a lot of fun. The girls had so much fun swimming in the water, fishing, playing with the boys, and riding on wave runners and jet skiis. Asha even tried wakeboarding by herself. It was not successful but I was proud that she at least tried. It really made me miss Ryan. He was so good at wakeboarding and would have loved to be there to teach Asha. I appreciate the Warner's hospitality. It was great to get away.

Memorial Day Acitvities

2008-05-26T21:00:00.000-07:00

This memorial day was so much different than others in years past. We definitely had someone we were thinking about and remembering. Many of Ryan's friends and family had planned a trip to the Sand Dunes to go see the spot where Ryan died and to honor him by doing something he loved. I wasn't planning on going. I though it would be to hard. But, at the last minute I decided that I just couldn't miss out on something to do with Ryan. It ended up being fine. Fun for the girls. It was a little surreal to be there without Ryan. It was definitely the thing he drug me out to do so it seemed a little bit odd to be going voluntarily. I think I was the most sad on the way home. That was always my favorite part of a Sand Dunes trip. Going home with my family. Then on memorial day we did the "Run for Ryan." It really was amazing to see how many people came out to support me and my family and pay tribute to Ryan. He was such an amazing person. He left me with such a great support system. I really was so overwhelmed and touched that such a big event was organized for Ryan and us. Other than that we just did the normal memorial day things. We took flowers to Ryan's grave and had a nice BBQ. I truly am grateful to all my family and friends. I would be lost without you.

DANCE RECITAL

2008-05-18T20:59:00.000-07:00

Well I'm both glad and sad that recital day is over. I love watching them dance and dressing them up in their costumes but don't enjoy all the stress that goes with it. But when it's over they are so proud of themselves and love all the attention they receive. Dance lessons are of my favorite things about having girls. I never thought I would be one of those moms that forced their kids to do a certain sport or activity but I have to admit if they wanted to quit I might not let them (I'm half way joking).

2008-05-10T18:26:00.000-07:00

ASHA STARTS T-BALL

2008-05-09T21:56:00.000-07:00

Asha had her first T-Ball game this week. We went to the store to get her gear. Of course she insisted on having a pink glove and a bright pink bat. She is the only girl on her team, The Pirates. Actually when she found out that the name of her team was the Pirates, she started to cry because she didn't want to be a pirate she wanted the name of her team to be Pink Panda Bears. She got over it though. My brother practiced with her a little bit before the game. She did really well. She looked so cute out there. Afterwards she asked, "did we win?" We told her yes. She then asked, "well where is my trophy then?" I think its going to be an interesting season.

Easter 2008

2008-05-06T19:31:00.000-07:00

This Easter was a special one. The girls had on their matching dresses, and they looked so cute. At church the lady in front of us was teasing Ryan, telling him he needed to have a tie made in the same fabric. Ryan was always so great with Zaya. When she started getting fussy he took her out into the foyer. After sacrement was over I couldn't find Ryan anywhere. I finally went out into the parking lot and our car was gone. He had gone home to give "Zaya" a nap.

Ryan......as we remember him!

2008-05-05T21:32:00.001-07:00